I worked in financial services for 3 years, doing various tasks. I really enjoyed my role and felt like I was learning so much. It was a complete change from my previous job and one that I thought I would have a long career in, so I was really excited for a new chapter. There were some changes within the organisation, and I started to feel stressed at work. I found I was going home every night completely drained and unhappy which had a huge impact on my social life. I kept thinking things will get better in time, but I carried on feeling like this for a few months. I felt so miserable and didn’t want to go out with friends and family, which is very unlike me. I kept hoping it would all work itself out as I’m not one to give up the minute things go wrong, I felt depressed and took it out on my partner. I had nights where I didn’t even want to talk, I just wanted to get into bed and shut the world out. Being someone who is very sociable and happy, I knew that the way I was feeling wasn’t normal. It made me feel the lowest I have ever felt in my life and destroyed my confidence completely.
I am someone who doesn’t want other people worrying about me, so it took far too long for me to open up to family and friends; no one knew just how bad I felt. I also felt like other people have way bigger problems, so I questioned if I was just being stupid and selfish for the way I was feeling. But I finally did, and even though it resulted in lots of crying I felt so much better expressing how I really felt. I very nearly went to the doctors (looking back I wish I had), as perhaps I would have started feeling better more quickly, but with the support of my amazing friends and family, I got there.
I feel that organisations can do so much more to support individuals who are experiencing a tough time at work, and in my case, I relied very much on my friends and family support network.
I was very lucky to have such a good support system. You have to look at the positives in life and the things your grateful for, that’s what gets you through the bad times, although sometimes it is hard the see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Having gone through what I have, I would advise anyone to confide in loved ones & close friends as soon as you feel a slight bit of depression or know something isn’t right. Even if you only speak to one person, you will feel so much relief and potentially save yourself months of depression and anxiety. Life is way too short to feel down, you will find it’s a lot more common than you think and most people go through it at some point in their life. Don’t ever feel embarrassed of the way you feel. Never compare yourself to others or think that your problems aren’t worth sharing, or that you will be judged, its YOU that comes first.
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