Tom’s Story

Tom’s Story

The mind is an interesting part of our body.

I’d like to share with you my story, people don’t talk about mental health enough. Social media sometimes can be a façade of how ‘perfect’ someone’s life is. If people never had any problems, the world would be an odd place. It’s normal to not be okay every day, it’s normal to have a bad day every now and then.

I started having severe anxiety attacks around 5/6 years ago, I would wake up in the middle of the night in panic and fear. Hyperventilating and feeling out of control of my body. My hands would go numb and tingling.

There were various reasons my anxiety started. Bullying during high school but also my previous job, I was a professional actor. From job to job, going to London two times a week to be told ‘I wasn’t good enough’ or ‘I didn’t look right’ the rejection and pressure built up and eventually caused me to pop. While working as an actor, I was building up my own digital marketing agency and I eventually left behind the acting life to focus on my passion, helping others succeed. An environment which I was in control of. I am fortunate that I was able to take myself from the situation and create a new path for myself.

Another reason that caused me anxiety was my body. My body has always been a part of me that I disliked, at about the age of 15 I started to see the symptoms of Gynecomastia on my chest area. Gynecomastia is basically a condition that causes glands to grow under your nipples due to an imbalance of hormones during puberty which causes your nipples to look puffy and a bit like a women’s breast… I spoke to my doctor, the nurse and various other practitioners, all of them said “You will grow out of it” This pushed me back massively and ruined my self-esteem. I could not wear T-shirts, take my top off in public, swim in the ocean without a rash vest on, it turned my life upside down. It set my anxiety off massively!

I thought that I wasn’t normal. But Gynecomastia affects 65% of men. The NHS rarely cover the surgery. On 2nd April 2019, I went to London and had surgery to remove the glands and make my chest flat again. The best decision of my life and I am so thankful to my surgeon for changing my life and improving my self-confidence about my body.

The main issue that was causing my anxiety has gone, I feel a weight off my shoulders. For me, medication was not the best way to treat anxiety, I’ve been there and done that and it didn’t work. After my surgery and while my business was growing, I decided to seek professional help. My doctor threw Beta Blockers at me which made me so sick, so I reached out to a private therapist which hands down was the best decision I have made in this journey. My anxiety wasn’t a ‘condition’, I was in a safe space that I could heal myself in with the aid of a professional. After those five or 6 sessions, I was a different person and I could control my anxiety. The best piece of advice I can give is to seek that extra help if you need and as cliché as it sounds, talk to someone.

❤️

Latest Articles

How Connected Cultures Create Happiness at Work

How Connected Cultures Create Happiness at Work

Creating and maintaining a connected workplace culture is essential in promoting happiness and positive mental health and wellbeing at work. On average, we spend 57% of our waking hours working so it is important that this time is spent in an environment where we feel...

read more
Looking at Care in a Different Way

Looking at Care in a Different Way

When thinking about care we often think of physical care, overlooking the mental aspect of care. So, we have to fight harder for mental health care to be taken as seriously as physical health care. I want to use this time to reflect on what care we offer to both our...

read more
Feeling the Fear and Moving Forward

Feeling the Fear and Moving Forward

TalkOut’s Clinical Psychology Researcher, Natalie Edwards, talks out about how we are all feeling right now and explores ways we can move forward. The changes that Boris Johnson recently outlined have left people feeling anxious about both the here and now and the...

read more